By Johanne James

Greetings all and today’s topic is cravings.
Yes, those pangs you get for something forbidden. Hmm. What’s your devil? Is it CHOCOLATE? I thought so. All that milk and sugar, all those other chemicals that make it so addictive. In fact, did you know that the aforementioned is the worst combination for the human body? Yes, but it tastes so good, so please remember that there is always a price to pay! It seems we crave sugar, salt and fat and especially at Christmas. It’s the one time we can let our cravings and addictions loose, for a while anyway and then suffer the consequences later on. Have you not noticed that when you go to the checkout at a supermarket there are always those naughty bars that have your mind twitching. Hmmmm, I could have one of those whilst watching my favourite soap… Lol

I have on many occasions asked women what is it they had craved during that reproductive event called pregnancy.

I got so many answers that there are too many to mention, for whilst the body is in complete mayhem, all dietary logic tends to go out the window followed by the window! But I must say the one I found the most disturbing was raw liver. Hmmm? I guess there were certain enzymes she craved, needless to say this vegan will not be asking her to dinner, not while pregnant anyway. But you know what the most confusing of all that was? They go back and do it again! My my, dear ladies, your memories are very short indeed and your threshold for pain, boundless!
Nicotine, another of those deadly substances that can drive you to distraction. A dear friend of mine I was having a conversation with, couldn’t stop fidgeting and sweating and when I questioned as to why and what was causing him to behave so irrationally he replied “I AM DEPENDENT”. The poor fellow didn’t know what to do with himself, but once those censors had been satisfied, he became himself again, the fidgeting stopped and the sweating subsided. Phew!
I would rather fight Mike Tyson! Who, I hear you ask. Then let me rethink that one? Maybe not! I do sometimes crave something sweet, but rather than head to the local confectioners for that bar of Cadbury’s Dairy Milk or those Custard Creams, I’ll reach for some pitted dates. All that natural sugar, lovely! I may well be a candidate for Diabetes, type 2, not to say that I eat so many as to bring forth that deadly disease, but they are soooooo tasty. 

The question should be, what brings them on?
What is that mechanism that is switched on that we end up doing the strangest things to satisfy those pangs? I haven’t got a Scooby Doo and for those not familiar with Cockney slang, I said I haven’t got a clue! The human body is a magnificent organism and capable of such wonders, and why we treat it the way we do baffles me, but, where do these pangs come from? If anyone out there can enlighten me, then please do so for I am at a loss. Meanwhile back in the kitchen looking for something to sink my teeth into I thought to myself, apple pie, I could do with a piece of Dutch apple pie! So to the ‘Vegan And Drum Rescue Service’, if you are out there and listening, then please answer my request. Or should I have one of those massive lamps, you know the ones, like when Metropolis need the caped crusader, I mean Bat Man. Maybe if I had one the shape of a piece of the wonderful Dutch Apple Pie, I wonder if my call would be answered? Tell you what, I’m off to the local hardware store to get the components and try to build myself one. I’ll let you know in the next column, but in the meantime what ever your cravings may be, I hope you’re not climbing the wall or pacing up and down sweating like a racehorse wondering if that mechanism and those censors will be satisfied. Good luck and all the best.

Thanks for listening.

Johanne James



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